REAL NEWS – SEPTEMBER 2022
Dear fellow researchers,
Hereby we are sending you the very first edition of our ‘REAL NEWS’ monthly company update. A lot has been happening in the last couple of weeks and we’re always looking for ways to improve our communication, so we figured it would be a good idea to give you guys regular insight into what happens behind the scenes at RealChems. Expect monthly updates from now on. A lot has been going on and we also have a lot in store.
ABOUT THE UPS RESHIP SITUATION IN AUGUST
Sheesh guys! Some of you are absolutely ruthless! :-) “Scam artists, swindlers, exit scam, thieves, sketchy domains”, some of the recent reviews online about our service have not been exactly flattering. That hurt... Of course, we wanted to shout from the rooftops “Guys, no worries, it’s RealChems, we’re the good guys in this market, remember?”, but we fully understand a couple of you being seriously pissed off with us for the delay. We were disappointed with the situation some of you experienced too, especially because it was partially our own mistake. Please, allow us to explain.
As we informed you at the beginning of August, we had decided to stop delivering with UPS. We were not satisfied with their service. Hundred upon hundreds of packages had been delayed, seized, magically disappeared or simply not arriving at all. Unacceptable. Our normal procedure from that point on would be to reclaim the packages and once we received them back (usually a couple of weeks later) reship the packages, but since some of you guys had been waiting on your UPS shipment for quite some time, we decided to reship immediately from our own stocks at our expense. So far so good, right? Wrong...
At the same time as the reships we got an explosion in online orders, because of Google Voodoo from a man we call the ‘Beard of Knowledge’ (more on that below). Our packing room elves (of which a couple were on summer holiday too in the unluckiest of timings...) have been working their absolute asses off in the last couple of weeks, but it was just not enough on a couple of occasions. So it would not be fair to blame the reship situation fully on UPS. We screwed up a bit in our planning too. Mea culpa, maxima culpa!
The last reships went out last week, and we would not be RealChems if we were not to compensate those involved for their patience a little extra. Because we love you and you certainly deserve it. All reships will receive a friendly gesture from our Customer Support team on very short notice. We are now fully on track again. Expect the same fast shipments we have always provided you with from this point on.
‘BEARD OF KNOWLEDGE’ GOOGLE VOODOO TAKES FRANCE, SPAIN AND ITALY BY STORM
As you guys might still remember, we lost our www.realchems.com domain a couple of months ago. Being an online business primarily that kind of sucked, but we were just so happy to see your support in the form of countless orders at our new main domain; www.realchems.net. But regardless of us not suffering a too big of a drop in business (thanks again!), we still lost all historical Google rankings. That affects new business. So, we had to awaken the legend who made us a giant in Google in the past. A mysterious barefooted magician we call the ‘Beard of Knowledge’, had to be dragged out of his musky cave in the deep dark woods of Bavaria once again.
After handing him over a couple of bags of gold, myrtle and some experimentals (he does not know money), Beard performed his magic once again. He experimented, meditated and danced with the Google spirits. After seeing the light, he launched www.realchems.fr, www.realchems.es and www.realchems.it for us and gifted us soon after with top rankings in these beautiful countries once again! We have no idea how this shit works. We just know it works. Perhaps it worked a bit too well short term, because we were just not ready for the huge increase in orders in combination with the unexpected big amount of reships in a holiday period. We are now. We’re running at full capacity and speed once again. That’s a promise!
COMING IN SEPTEMBER
- Special news for all of our friends from France and Czechia!
- Flash sale of 4-FMA coming up.
Dear French researchers. We know how proud you are of your language. We also know how much it must have pained you to see the way we treated your beautiful language on our website for many years. Well, the end of your lingual pain is in sight. We are finally going to do you justice. Expect a perfectly translated French website in September, or October at the latest.
Good news for our Czech friends too! ‘Beard of Knowledge’ is working on the launch of Realchems.cz as we speak... Of course, we will also take care of a proper translation here too. The domain will launch by the end of October at the latest.
If you love experimenting with 4FMA, you are definitely going to want to monitor our website closely in September. We are going to do an 18-hour flash sale of 4FMA with MEGA discounts.!
Thank you for taking the time to read our first Real News.
Happy researching and until next month!
Head of Sales & Marketing